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Working in conjunction with (Disabled Entrepreneur UK) we cover topics of mental health amongst Entrepreneurs, CEOs, Directors, and Rich People. Our main focus is on the subjects of depression, anxiety, and suicide-related issues. If you are suffering, do not suffer alone. Reach out to medical professionals with the first pit stop of your local GP. Do the research and if you feel you have no one to turn to contact the Samaritans or message us and we will suggest some places that can help you get through what you are going through.
It has come to my attention today a letter that has been lying in the hallway for about a week and not addressed to me personally but addressed to the house with a header title ‘Water Leak‘ in the window of the envelope, which was theoretically meant for the flat below me as they had a leak about a month ago. So with seeing the header title I left the letter assuming it must have been for the tenants downstairs.
So what has changed well the letter was opened not by me may I add or my daughter and was left in the corridor for all to see. I have for convenience sake added the letter into this post.
Now if you go back about a month Welsh Water did come and visit the property and cut off the mains water supply to both properties yet the leak was not my leak but a leak from downstairs in one of the bedrooms.
Obviously this angered me as the water supply is for two seperate properties within one property and I have my own water bill.
So you can understand my distain when I read a letter that is not addressed to me personally as both flats pay for water seperately and because Welsh Water had visited the property and had found the leak you would think they would in their corresspondence contact my landlord through ‘Rent Smart Wales‘ or contact the tenants directly.
For some reason I think this is a scam and when I phoned the number it went to O2 voicemail.
Furthermore they say they have attempted to visit and contact the property owner/occupiers on several occassions. I have surveillance security cameras fitted outside the front door and no one came to visit I can assure them of that. So on top of the threatening letter they also lie through their teeth.
The leak has nothing to do with me I am a seperate tenant and the date to make contact with them has surpassed. Its only a matter of time before my landlord gets wind if this or Welsh Water cut off my water supply (bring it on, let a law suit begin if they waste my time).
I have written about these blue chip companies before that do not take into consideration people’s mental state of health and have no empathy what so ever. Receiving a ‘Nasty Letter‘ only makes matters worse. (My mental state has already worsened as now I am anxious about their next move and am worried they may cut me off even though it has nothing to do with me). I am now having trouble focusing, yet another obstacle thrown my way.
Its not my job to do their job and contact the landlord seeing as the water leak was not in my flat and the letter was not even addressed to me.
As far as I am concerned the leak has been fixed and the tenant would have said something as her latest update was for a replacement carpet that my landlord had promised her and she is still waiting for it to materialise.
If you believe you are the victim of financial wrongdoing, write to Tony Hetherington at Financial Mail, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TS or email tony.hetherington@mailonsunday.co.uk.
Because of the high volume of enquiries, personal replies cannot be given. Please send only copies of original documents, which we regret cannot be returned.
I will back my landlord up if he gets any s#@t from them. There is absolutely no excuse to not do their job properly regardig if there is a pandemic or not.
Final Foot Note: This is for all home owners if there is a water leak, it should be up to the water suppier to fix the leak and not the home owner. If the water supplier has corroded old mains pipes that spring leaks surely it is not the home owners responsibility to fix the problem? Afterall a water supplier cannot just supply you water until they can see that the water pipes are good working order. If you built the house yourself and laid down your own pipes that would be a different story as you would be responsible for your own pipes. But if it is a mains problem then it should be the water supplier that should foot the bill and not you.
I am merely a tenant that lives upstairs so I should not be held responsible for the water pipes or the leak that did not even come from my flat. Yet the letter was not addressed to anyone in particular just the occupier. Yet the occupier of the original leak was my neighbour and Welsh Water have threatened to cut off the water supply to the whole building rather than to just one flat. Since when am I tangled up in the S@#t when its not even my own fault.
WELSH WATER (DWRCYMRU) do your job properly!!!!!!…..
Update 22/09/20
I managed to get hold of Welsh Water via Facebook Messenger and explained that they need to get hold of the tenant below me and the landlord and address the letters properly.
I also explained that I was feeling unwell because of their incompetence and their reply was “Im sorry for the letter causing you stress” (I’M SORRY) is not going to put food on the table in which I rightly told them so.
Yet wait for this they have asked me to forward the letter to my landlord. “I’m Sorry” but the last time I looked I charge for this service and have literally received another message from them in which I told them what I have told you.
I will not give my landlords name due to Data Protection and told them to find out his name themselves via Rent Smart Wales or the Land Registry or simply write a letter to the occupiers of the flat below me and ask them to pass the letter on.
My landlord has fixed the leak so why are they sending threatening letters?
I will update further if this escalates into something.
As most of you are already aware I do have to suffer from insecurities and I am sure I am not alone when it comes to saying that no matter how hard I try to prove to people that I know what I am doing people still seem to find a way to judge me and I feel they do not trust me even though I have not given any reason to feel this way. Is it paranoia perhaps?
I have been judged all my life and I do try to not let it get to me for the most part but sometimes it is really hard. I will give you an example yesterday and today I posted a crowdfunding project with the hope that people will help to fund it so that I can employ 2 people full-time at a minimum wage of £8.75 an hour for at least 4 months. Now you may think so what was so wrong with that after all I am trying to better myself well the problem is some of my connections have disappeared on LinkedIn and I don’t know why?
Now I have tried to be as transparent as I can and even wrote a Business Plan for people to read. Either they do not want me to succeed and are jealous or they do not believe in me or it could be LinkedIn themselves that have glitched out somehow.
I have in the past been trolled and humiliated and even accused of things that saddened me. But I try to keep my head up and think oh well, “it’s your loss as I will succeed with or without your help”.
So just like I tell my readers I also tell myself:
Don’t let it phase you. I am not saying all people are narrow-minded but we have all been burned at some point in our lives by people we have trusted. I am not alone as people have scammed me due to my trusting nature. However, I have learned from my mistakes and know what to look for if someone has ulterior motives. So I understand that people can be less trusting especially if they have encountered bad business through their employee, partner, or client. It could be several different things that people find distrusting about you and you should not take it personally. It’s their opinion and no one else’s.
Gaining their trust. Always keep your head up high and do not let your insecurities get to you. Let people gain their trust in you by you offering them incentives or offers they cannot refuse. Once you deliver outstanding services, work, and results only then will they change their opinion about you. Try to be their friend and not be so formal. Sometimes being too businesslike can be very cold which sends out singles that may look like you are superior or have something to hide. Try being natural so that they can learn what you are about.
Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Just as I am doing here I have told the world who I am and what I am about. I do not paint myself to be anything other than what you read about on my blogs. Just because people do not trust you don’t let it prevent you from being the awesome person you are. (I know I’m awesome and tell myself that every day), That’s not me being conceited it’s me boosing my morals.
Always remember someone else’s opinion is not your opinion and if that is how they feel it’s their problem not yours and it is not your fault.
We all feel low from time to time and our self-esteem becomes questionable. Some people deal with these issues differently from others. I tend to switch off from the world when it gets too much for me. I need to recharge my batteries and come back with a clear mind.
Have you noticed how people with a lot of money and I am not talking about everyone but even with a lot of money they have insecurities and mental health issues like depression? How many actors (A-Listers have had alcohol dependency issues when in theory they never have to worry about putting food on the table or have a roof over their heads but they still drink themselves stupidly or take drugs)? I often think if I had so much money that I did not know what to do with it, I would not be depressed and my insecurities would diminish to next to nothing. But you cannot speak about everyone as every one of us has different opinions and beliefs and different mental states.
Each person is different, and there are many factors, including social class, cultural background, child and life experiences, race, gender, personal relationships worth environment, etc, that can make us feel insecure with low self-esteem. We cannot change our past but we can change how we feel now and in the future. Just because people do not trust you, that’s their problem, not yours. You just need to be able to rise above it.
Genes and Temperament
Our self-confidence is built into our brains at birth. We are molded genetically and studies have shown our genetic makeup affects the feeling of confidence-boosting chemicals (Serotonin) our brain can access through receptors. It is also thought that 25 to 50 percent of the traits linked to confidence may be genetically inherited. Our personality can also stem from temperament
Serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with feelings of happiness and Oxytocin can both be triggered by certain genetic variations. especially when confronted with a situation known as “behavioral inhibition.” one can start to question the logic of the situation. Not everyone impulsively jumps into every situation, some who tread with caution and are reserved may let self-esteem elude them.
Life Experiences
Certain life experiences can lead to feeling completely unsure about oneself or even feeling of worthlessness.
Trauma.When someone has experienced traumatic life-changing experiences such as physical and mental abuse, rape or sexual assault, public humiliation, judgment, discrimination, and the death of a loved one, this can play on one’s mind, and unless the memories are erased a person can be tormented indefinitely. As a consequence, the person’s self-confidence and esteem will be very low and they may feel ashamed of their experiences and embarrassed as well as devasted and feeling lost and empty. A breakup, divorce or separation can be equally devasting to losing someone through death and the effects on a person’s mind can be debilitating.
OurParenting. The way we have been brought up determines how we are shaped. I four up bringing was of neglect we will show signs later on in our adult life that may mirror how our parents treated us. As an example, if a parent constantly belittled you, compared you to others, or told you that you were worthless and would never amount to anything, you would eventually believe them through brainwashing. Depending how your parents treated you, will depend on your mental state of mind later on in life. My father was really strict and everything had to be done his way or not at all and if we misbehaved we were belted. That has been one of the contributing factors to my insecurities to this day, although other life-changing traumatic events have made me who I am today.
Bullying, humiliation, discrimination, and harassment. I remember when I was an infant and could not speak English but understood to a certain degree what the other children were saying, I remember having my blazer spat on and being pushed down some concrete steps to a gravel-laden playground where I suffered gashes to my face. Then in my senior years, the bullies would wait for me outside the school gates where I would get numerous kickings. Therefore childhood bullying left a mark on my confidence. This in turn continued into my adult years with my abusive ex.
Bullies will bully you when it comes to your appearance, your intellectual and athletic abilities, and so on, as well as other areas of your life because a bully is also insecure and will try to take the onus away from them for them to feel momentarily better about themselves by degrading another person.
Humiliating experiences in adulthood, including public humiliation by people in authority and the workplace or a peer group that disrespects or demeans you will cause you to question yourself and your abilities as you have been told by someone else that this is what you are supposed to believe. However, people who humiliate you are more inadequate because if they felt good about themselves there would be no need to undermine you to make themselves feel better and more powerful.
DiscriminationGender, race, and sexual orientation. Studies have shown women are socialized to worry more about how they’re perceived.
A woman’s racial, social class, cultural background, and sexual orientation can also cause women to suffer low self-esteem. A woman that has been on the receiving end of discrimination may have internalized some negative, untrue messages about her worth and true potential and whether she“belongs.” However, this also applies to other genders and people perceived to be worthless will eventually believe they are and will not take risks to better themselves.
Lack of knowledge
Someone full of confidence does not care how they are perceived as in their mind they are on a pedestal and no one can take that away from them, however a person that lacks self-confidence needs to reassure themselves that they are confident and this in turn leads to insecurities where they question themselves and find faults which leads them to failure. Not being certain of your circumstances or lack of knowledge of your surroundings can manifest into insecurities.
On the contrary, a person who is a perfectionist also suffers from low self-esteem as they have to battle to have everything perfect all the time to be accepted as a confident person.
How the Media Perceives People
You have heard it before “Sex Sells”. All the glossy magazines, billboards, and catwalk runways are targeted at women always having a beautiful woman on their covers or super skinny top models strutting their stuff down the catwalks. Products and Fashion is advertised always by beautiful-looking men and women. It is drummed into our heads that this is how we are supposed to look and the average-looking person will always feel inadequate by their looks because they can never achieve the same standards as that of these good-looking people who are portrayed to be the ideal perfect-looking person.
But the ideal look does not stop on the catwalk it has infiltrated social media channels with adverts and influencers making the virtual world look like reality but it is fantasy in most cases, superficially imposed, yet we are supposed to believe what we see even though our lives are not perfect, we start to show less confidence in ourselves when we see other people looking so perfect with their perfect lives and women looking like supermodels, showing off flashy houses and cars. We live in a materialistic superficial world and we too also want to have luxuries with little effort but in most cases that is virtually impossible. Yet in reality, the people that post online are heavily curated and edited. Everyone has bad days, self-doubt, and physical imperfections and it is drummed into our heads every day that to look like a certain person we need to mirror them, which sometimes is rarely possible to achieve.
Anxiety and Depression
Low Self-esteem and low self-confidence cause people to doubt their state of mind and their abilities which in turn causes anxiety and depression which go hand-in-hand.
There are a few self-help books that I have posted below, just in case you are feeling low. However, do speak with your GP if things are getting out of control.
Remember when someone says something bad about you are shows you no support and you feel they do not have confidence in you, let them think what they like after all you are not indebted to them and you do not have to prove anything, just be yourself. It’s their opinion and not the rest of the world’s.
I know what I am worth and I do not have to prove anything to anyone.
All I can say is: “if you do not believe in me then it’s your loss”.
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26/08/20
I have decided to update this post as I am glad to say that my connection drops the other day must have been a LinkedIn glitch as I now have all my connections back:
Being Alone and Loneliness are two different things.
Being alone can for some people be more gratifying than being in a room full of people and not having anything in common or anything to talk about. Some people choose to live alone and live happily without intervention of other people.
We all experience the feeling of loneliness from time to time. Our self conception is very unique to us and not everyone who feels loney may feel the same type of loneliness as yourself. My conception of loneliness is not being on my own. I actually like my own company. My perception of loneliness is not being able to share my thoughts or have people share my passion or give me the support I need. My loneliness is the emptiness I feel when I cannot talk to anyone that shares or cares about my thoughts.
The most common description of loneliness is the overwhelming emptiness feeling we get when ourmental state, views passions beliefs are not recognised by other people.
Loneliness is not always the same as being alone.
You may the most social person on the block and have lots of friends and acquaintances or part of a large family, but if not one person shares your views and you cannot reach out or relate to these people as they simply are not interested you will find the loneliness creeping in.
Mental health may increase the chance of feeling lonely and although feeling lonely is not a mental health issue it is however strongly linked.
People who suffer with social phobia’s may find it difficult to express their mental well being which in turn can cause loneliness. If you have suffered with the feeliing of loneliness for a very long time undiagnosed this may well impact your mental health in the long term, which in turn can manifest into stress, low self esteem, depression, anxiety and sleeping disorders.
What is the cause of loneliness?
Loneliness differs from person to person and each case is different. ‘Life Changes’ play an important factor diagnosing someone with loneliness. Each life event is unique and some people can handle these events better than others.
Examples of life events that can cause loneliness are as follows.
1). Traumatic Event in your life that has had devasting and lasting effect (I have had eight but whose counting)
2). The loss of a loved one (bearevement), family member, friend, pet, life partner (I have experienced this three times, I was once asked so when will I stop grieving, well the answer is never).
3). Break up of a relationship, (divorce, seperation) (Most memorable I experienced four times)
4). Abusive Relationship, violence and rape (I experiend this as two seperate incidents).
5). Retiring and loosing the network of collegaues that were friends at work (No issue).
6). Moving to a new location with no network of family or friends. (No Issue).
7). Feeling isolated from your co-works who alienate you. (No Issue).
8). Changing Jobs and learning the ropes from scratch with no support from other co-workers. (No issue).
9). Starting a course at College or University and you do not know anyone and do not make friends easily (No Issue).
Depending on each individuals circumstances determines why the feeling of vulnerability sets in. It is suggested by some researchers that certain life changing factors will be the root cause to the problem.
1). It may be that you are part of a minority group seperated from your family and friends due to immigration as asylum seekers as you fled from a war stricken country to somewhere very alien to you.
2). You could be in an ethnic group alienated for your race and values
3). You could be discriminated because, of your colour, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation and disabilities and social class.
4). You are estranged from your family.
5) You have been physically and mentally abused and find it diffficult to form relationships.
6). You have been publicly humiliated and made a mockery of.
7). You have no friends or family
8). You are a single parent or carer and may not be able to maintain a social life.
9). You are judged by how much money you have or what job you do.
10) Although unlawful you may be discrimiated by employers for your mental health or disabilities or even you appearance. It is not supposed to happen but it does and its even more harder to prove.
This feeling of loneliness can be crippling and some people do not know where to turn or how to rectify the problem and thus spiral out of control.
My therapy is wrting, I call my blogs my online diaries that anyone can read. I can express myself and I know someone somewhere is reading this and possibly can relate.
My loneliness is not being able to share some of the trauma, humiliation and pain I have endured over the years and would love to give the people that made me this way a good old fashioned public shout out and watch them squiirm getting publicly humiliated as I did. But for now let sleeping dogs lie, one day their time will come.
So when the next time you are talking to someone you find that you have nothing in common, nip it the bud, do not let it fester and do not pretend to be a friend as that makes you a hypocrite. You are either with that person because you actually care or you are with that person for your own agenda.
Only be with people you genuinly care about and support, do not be two faced. If I can share similar life experiences and idea’s, passions and goals with others as I am doing I am half way there to battling my feeling of loneliness. The peron does not have to sit in the same room as me but could been thousands of miles away with only an internet connection between us.
I have only one goal and that is to make a lot of money, I am not looking to make friends or relationships but instead to connect with like minded people that share my goals and my passion. The power of mind over matter is the differnce of filling the void of loneliness.
I tend not to dwell on all the bad things that have happened in my life (which no doubt have been a few) but instead try to turn the negative feelings and thoughts into postitive ones. I set myself realistic goals that if I achieve I reward myself. I buy myself something that will cheer me up and set another goal and another.
Remember always be kind to others as you do not know what they are going through and never be two faced or judgemental. Treat people with respect just like you would want to be treated and if you know someone is alone especially during the holidays do something nice for them just so that they know someone was thinking about them.
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Very few successful entrepreneurs may succeed on their first business venture. For example did you know Microsoft entrepreneurs Bill Gates and Paul Allen’s first business venture was the Traf-O-Data. Traf-O-Data sold just one unit before the business dissolved.
So do not beat yourself up if your business is not going to plan, “if at first you do not succeed, try again”.
You just need to stay focused and if there is a will there is a way.
This also applies to your mental health and everyday scenario’s and it does not always have to be about business per se. You just must find a way to carry on and fight your cause. No one else is going to help you so do not rely on other people and do it yourself. You are the master of your own destiny.
Statistics show whilst most new businesses (80%) survive their first year, only half of them will still exist after five years down the road.
The key to a successful entrepreneurship that has failed previously is that entrepreneurs have seen failure as lessons of how to overcome obstacles.
So, although at first failure may look like doom and gloom, one needs to turn the negative into a positive. Business failures may incur financial hardships, so you must find ways to get around this especially if you bank is not supportive. There are many ways to raise funds including re-inventing yourself and crowd funding. Business failures could also be a breakdown of business relationships with your business partners. You must decide if a person is weighing you down do you continue to have them in your life or do you find a way to move on and leave them behind. After all and this applies to business as well as your personal lives, do not surround yourself with negative people.
Call it tough love and only the toughest survive so that means you must make tough decisions.
Establish what the root of your problem is and then tackle it head on.
Do a deep clean analysis of the failure. Work out the biggest contributing factors that are making your business fail.
Look at factors why you started the business and what you wanted to accomplish from it. Write down a list and also do not forget to say what you ultimately wanted to achieve when you started out. It may be that you may feel you are overwhelmed and have lost the plot of what you wanted then to what is happening now and you can easily start to feel lost.
The following needs to be addressed.
What was your goal at the beginning of your start-up?
What problems are you encountering?
Do you have financial issues and do not know how you will pay your bills?
Do you have staff issues?
Do you have management issues?
Is your product or service not unique or sort after?
Are you have problems generating business?
Is your website not optimised to its full protentional?
Do you have marketing and advertising issues?
Have you got personal (spouse/partner) or mental health issues that are interfering with your business?
There are many factors that can cause a business to fail and you need to find the core to the problem in order to address it in order to avoid the demise to the business.
The sooner you find what is causing your business to spiral out of control, the sooner you can get hold of the reigns again.
Sometimes you need a moderator, mentor or consultant that can sit on the fence and give you a neutral opinion of what you are doing wrong. Find someone you can confined in, whether it is a spouse or partner or a friend. There is always someone that can lend an ear especially if your failing business is causing you mental and psychological health problems. Do not forget you can also speak with your GP if the stress is becoming overwhelming.
There are always solutions to all problems, no matter how big or small.
Once you have established the root to your problem the next thing is to address it and make the changes.
1). If you have ‘FINANCIAL ISSUES’ and have come to a road block either because your customers are paying late or you bank does not want to lend you any more money, consider ‘FACTORING’ where the banks pays you 80% of your invoice upfront and the customer then has 30 days to pay the invoice whereby the bank will pay you the remainder of the invoice. Do speak with you bank manager about this service as it does not come cheap, but at least you have one less thing to worry about when the customer does not pay as the bank will do the chasing for you. Consider ‘CROWDFUNDING’ and ‘PRIVATE EQUITY’ where you raise funds publicly or through Angel Investors who are looking to support small businesses in exchange for a stake of your company.
If you are starting up and this applies to the UK as other countries may differ, you can apply for tax credits and housing benefit and council tax reductions to help you. Phone your Local Council about Housing Benefit and Council Tax and HMRC about Tax Credits. You can also find information online.
2). Do you have staff issues, consider outsourcing the work to virtual assistants and freelancers if it is office related? If it is manual work, consider hiring school leavers you may even be eligible for grants or sub contractors, these are self employed businesses and you just pay them for the job on a contract basis.
3) Do you have management issues where people are getting too big for their boots. Remember you are the Boss and you say what goes. If you feel that your staff are not pulling their weight, offer incentives to make them work harder.
4) If you have debt issues there are companies that can consolidate all your debts to one manageable monthly payment plan. Never brush your debts under the carpet, they will never go away on their own, instead take the bull by its horns write out all your debts and work out your monthly overheads and contact these companies that can resolve your problems.
5) Is the product or service that you are selling the problem. Reinvent yourself if you must and address pricing, competition and why the product or service is not selling. It could be your online presence is not optimised and you are not generating enough traffic. With this said speak with the web developers, whom are also internet marketers to see why you are not generating enough traffic. Consider PPC advertising this will get you on the first page of Search Engines for the exact match search terms your users are looking for. Also consider offline advertising like Newspaper, Magazine Ads as well as Leaflets.
6) Have you got problems at home such as marital, speak with a counsellor. Or do you feel lonely and come home to an empty home? Whatever the problem is what ever happens at home should stay at home but often we bring it to work with us as we are constantly fretting and thinking about the other person and not concentrating on the work put before us. I am not a marriage councillor but there are many ways you can address these issues. Do some research there are plenty of organisations that can help.
7) MENTAL HEALTH and PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS. Sometimes the stress is too much to bear and you can barely find enough energy to get out of bed, sometimes only wanting to cocoon yourself under the blankets and wait for the world to pass you by. I’m the world’s worst when it comes to this as I have suffered with mental health issues (Depression and OCD) most of my adult life, but somehow I find the courage to face another day. So, from my own personal experience and perspective I have planted a seed in my head. This seed is my goal to achieving what I want in life and I try to stay focused. If on days where the stress is too much to bear, I take time out and do something that I enjoy doing such as writing and reading or watching movies and a takeout. I know I will not be defeated, and I know eventually I will get where I am going.
Consider a dream board that you hang in your office which will be a daily reminder why you are where you are and where you want to be. A dream board (vision board) is a montage of images of all the things you want out of life, call it a bucket list if you will. Every morning take some time to think about your goals before starting work.
So do try to take leaf out of my book and remember there is no success without failure. Rejoice your failure. The failure is a lesson and you can learn from. People who take risks are prone to failure but without risks there are no opportunities. Your self-confidence should not be diminished by your failures, your failure should be embraced as achievements. You have to take risks in order to succeed.
Never be ashamed of your failures in fact teach others and mentor them that failure helps us to learn and to succeed. We have all failed at something in or lives, if its not exams at school or Uni, to driving tests, to personal relationships. Don’t tell me you have never been heartbroken or come close to loosing your life partner, or not achieved careers goals you had hoped for. Life gives us choices and life is what you make it. You either fail and give up or fail and move on, I prefer to fail and learn not to do the same mistake twice and teach others about my mistakes and pay it forward.
Finally if you found this post useful, do comment, share, like, subscribe and pay it forward.
Regardless what your status is and if you are employed, self employed, a CEO or unemployed, we are all human at the end of the day and we all have our up’s and down moments.
Some of us deal with these down moments better than others, but the ones that overcome these obstacles end up succeeding in what they are trying to do. You just need to know how to overcome these obstacle put before us.
We all have options in life and we all can choose to go in whatever direction we choose.
I will first talk about the reasons why you may be loosing motivation at work.
You could be feeling insecure about your job, you may have an intimidating boss or you co-works are always being mean.
You hate your job, you have no vision or ambition and are stuck in a dead end job which is a pay cheque at the end of the week and nothing more.
There are more chiefs than indians and the business is unorganised and poorly managed and you feel you have no where to turn as you could do your job better if it was not for the fact that management does not know what they are doing. There maybe no one you can trust of confide in to speak about the problems you encounter.
The job is too stressful and you you cannot live up to the expectations.
You have no way of climbing the ladder and your career will stay where it is unless you do something.
You are not appreciated for all the hard work you do.
You have problems at home and even if you try to not bring them to work with you, your mind is distracted.
You are juggling more than one job and things are getting too much for you physically and mentally.
You have mental health issues or are physically unwell.
You are being discriminated.
Lack of Motivation as an Entrepreneur
You have financial issues.
You are not driving enough business.
You have employed people you cannot work with or trust as they do not share your same work ethics and you cannot just fire them as there are laws against that.
You have problems at home with your family.
You have mental health issues or are physically unwell.
Lack of Motivation Due toUnemployment.
You have just lost your job.
You cannot find suitable work.
You do not have the right qualifications.
You feel deflated as every job you apply for you do not get.
You have mental health issues or are physically unwell.
You have no support from your friends or family.
Solutions
Address the cause of the problem, find the core and focus on how you are going to turn things around.
Remind yourself how you feel and how you will feel after your have dealt with the problem.
Envision your success by making dream board add photos and notes to help motivate you.
Create a supportive environment surrround yourself with positive like minded people, get rid of negative energy and negative people.
Change your physiology and mind set, focus on what you are trying to achieve
Do your research, see how best you can takle the problem.
Learn something new.
Take Baby Steps (Rome was not built in a day).
Set Goals.
Reward yourself.
When things get overwhelming take time out, switch off and relax, occupy yourself with something you enjoy doing. Reflect on what matters to you the most whilst remaining positive and just breathe. Tomorrow is another day and you can start over again.
With this in mind if you are still struggling or want to reach out, please do not hesitate to message me.
After updating my post about Mental Health and the Local GP Surgery yesterday, I signed off by saying I was feeling unwell. I have now had a thumping headache for the last 3 days.
Imagine if I could go online, although there must be many websites on the subject to find everything there is to know about ‘thumping headchaches all in one place and how to get rid of them. So far the medication I have taken has not worked and I do not want to pop too many pills as I do not want liver damage.
The slightest bit of noise irratates me and boom goes the dymamite in my head and the excruciating pain.
Here is a great opportunity to develop this domain name www.thumpingheadache.com into something positive.
Anyone interested especially pharmaceutical companies, drug stores and chemists can message me or if you are an entrepreneur/investor in domains do drop me a line to discuss your ideas. The logo is free to the new owner who ever they may be.
I can help with developing the domain should you wish to go down this route and I work to your budget.
Need to stay off the internet for a few days and just rest, am off to have a lie down.
Barbed wire round my brain – My Mental Health Story
Regardles what walks of life one comes from everyone experiences sadness, sorrow, depression and anxiety some parts of their lives. Not everyone is happy 24/7, it is impossible to be happy 24/7. We all worry and get anxious and feel insecure from time to time and the ones that say they do not are in denial.
Whether you are an entreprenuer or a stay at home mum/dad we all worry, it is just that some people can handle it better than others.
Some people turn to drinking alcohol, taking recreational drugs and smoking cigarettes or weed to relieve the feelings that festers inside of them (I am not suggesting trying any of methods I have mentioned above but seek medical help in the first instance, these are only examples of what people do to relieve the tension and if anything it might makes things worse than better). I just take my medication which has been prescribed by my GP and do not smoke, do not do recreational drugs and only have a drink if the occasion calls for it such as a Birthday Celebration, but other than that I do not drink. I am wiser now not to wake up with a thumping headache and less money in my pocket from the night before.
Mental Illness is categorised as having the following disorders:
Anxiety & Panic Attacks
Bipolar Disorder
Depression
Easting Disorders
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Personality Disorders
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Psychosis
Schizoaffective disorder
Schizophrenia
Self Harming
Suicidal Feelings
I do not recommend self diagnosis although do your research and tell your doctor but if you think you have any symptoms do visit your local doctor and seek medical help.
I personally suffer with PTSD, OCD (Diagnosed over 30 years ago), and Clinical Depression. I also have Social Anxiety Disorder and find my home my safe haven away from people in general. I hate talking on the phone and very rarely do I venture out. This started way before self isolation with Covid-19. So I am a master when it comes to germ contaminaltion and social distancing.
I am the most happiest online and if things get too much I can just switch off.
Yet even online there are unsrupulous people that want to scam you and want to bring you down in order to destroy your reputation and hence as of yesterday I have gone back into my cocoon or bubble and really do not want to do any work and feel deflated that idiots have nothing better to do play stupid games. When a scammer goes looking for their next victim they do not care what it may do to the person mentally. I nearly became the next victim.
I feel I have fallen into a dark hole and need to summon the strength to get out, in which I know I will but it will take some doing.
Self help -Take a Leaf out of Warren Buffett’s Book.
Without a support system in place I cannot just phone anyone up and expect them to listen to my troubles (believe me, I have tried) and even if they did listen what could they do to help me? – nothing, so for me this would be pointless. However everyone is different and it may help to talk to a friend or a counseller/therapist on simply interact online and join forums and groups and network with people that also are suffering and have similar symptons as you.
Hence I try to help others whilst trying to help myself by making people aware Mental Illness is not a joke it needs to be addressed and people need to admit they have a problem to try and get professional help. Helping other means I am also helping myself and this makes me happy knowing that someone in need may have been put on the right path by me and got the help they needed. People should also be kind to one another and not cause distress or harm to another individual as doing so could make that person go over the edge.
I once told my daughter’s GodFather’s Girlfriend that I had OCD and she laughed in my face, so guess what I did, I removed those people out of my life, considering the Godfather could have defended me but chose not to.
Aswell as the racism I have endured over the years and the discrimination I am still standing and when I get knocked down I get up again and never give up…….
I find writing my thoughts on virtual paper is therapy for me.
People suffering with mental health issues need to seek professional help, in which I take medication for my disorders but sometimes just talking to someone also helps and cognitive behavioural therapy which does not work for everyone, yet everyone should try it.
There are also therapist that one can talk to in which I have tried that also and found going round and round in circles reapeating the same old stuff over and over again every single session did not benefit me but everyone is different so although it did not help me it may help others. I did not acknowlege the core of my problem, my insecurities in which a stranger, professional or not could not help me. I have since found that accepting the root of my problem I am better at being able to overcome the obstacles I am faced with. Its all in the mind and mind over matter.
The medication I take is is not a magic pill but helps me sleep, it will never stop my anxieties, it meerly calms my state of mind but never erradicates the problem, that I have to do myself and yes it will take some time and I believe oneday it will happen through sheer motivation to complete my goals. The key is to set goals for yourself and aim to accomplish them.
You need to address the core of what is bothering you, if it is debt or martial issues or problems in work, you need to start there. If you start to admit what problem you have got you are half way there to doing something about it. Do not let your problems fester. I know what problem I have and I am trying to turn my problem around, yes it has taken me 30 years to admit what my insecurity is but now that I finally have addressed it I know I am on the right path to make things better and eventually my insecurities will subside and this will help with my mental well being overall.
If you are constantly in a controlling relationship at home or at work, try to remove the negative people out of your life. For me I just do not answer the phone or do not interact online if I do not want to.
I do not have a support system that I can phone someone out of the blue as they would most probably not understand so how can they help (I Have tried therapy and that did not work, but I have joined some OCD Groups on Facebook and have interacted a few times which has helped a bit). In fact once I tried to tell my ex-sister in law about my problems and about my OCD and tried to relate that she too had a problem (hair pulling) when she was going through a divorce with my brother and she was in denial and gave me pretentious look whcih I will never forget. She seems to think she is better than me. But what she fails to understand she would not be where she is now without the divorce settlement my brother paid her and she had Trichotillomania (trik-o-til-o-MAY-nee-uh), also called hair–pulling disorder and theres no denying it as her hair was starting to get rather visibibly thin on top, which is similar to self harming, yet she denied she ever had it and had no positive words for me.
I know that I have to work it out myself without giving too much detail away as people can abuse your trust so the less they know the better.
Therefore I was shocked to hear a famous person was not briefed before opening his mouth a few days ago at a Presindential Rally. Surely they have managers that advise them what to say and what not to say. If he did this against the advise of his manager and this was a publicity stunt he obviously did not think before he spoke as now there may be consequences due to his actions when his eldest daughter grows up.
The famous person I am talking about is ‘Kayne West’ whom has been in the news and widely criticised for being outspoken about his personal life and in his defence, his wife ‘Kim Kardashian’ has said he suffers with ‘Biopolar Disorder’. From my own experience one should not air their dirty laundry in public (no matter who you are) especially if there will be reprecussions within the family unit further down the line, considering as it will happen when his eldest gets to read/hear/see what her father said about abortion. No child needs to hear that their parents were planning an abortion to get rid of them. That is why Kayne is the way he is because his father wanted to abort him and because he has Bipolar Disorder probably caused by festered insecurities.
The mere fact that this is even talked about in public will bound to affect the child’s mental state and they will feel insecure that their parents contemplated this and did not want them or that may even feel unloved. The seed of insecurity would be planted and in the back of their mind which could potentially fester, which in turn will cause the individual to have mental issues when they get older. This is so wrong on so many levels, one should not use your children as pawns to win votes and one should do everything possible to protect our children including not divuldging information about abortion. Imagine if you found out your parents had contemplated aborting you, how would you feel?, I for one would not be able to have the same respect before knowing and would not be able to look at the same again.
If you are feeling insecure and things are not going right, reach out to me here and I will try to help you. No one should suffer alone.
If you feel anxious or depressed just send a message and I will see what options are available for you to rectify your problems.
Nothing cannot be so bad you cannot share your problems in confidence with someone that is willing to listen. All problems have a way of being resolved one just needs to know how.
Remember a problem shared is a a problem halved.
My demons are the people I do not trust and the scam artists online aswell as the people that attempt to take advantage of meor bring me down or harm to me, you know the people I am talking about the judgemental pretentious people that think they are better than you, the ones that pretend they care but in reality do not give two hoots about you.
Like I said sharing my thoughts has already made me feel a little bit better.
Everyone has a story to tell and I have been through the mill and back so I have every excuse not to trust people and my story is my journey so one day I will write a book.
From one sufferer to another, stay safe and stay strong.
Respect Colour, Race, Religion and Genderand Status.
People in all walks of life have someone they know who thinks they are better than everyone else.
The may claim to be experts even though they blag their way through life to gain the attention and respect they so crave.
Whether it is business or at home there is always an elimant of self worth where we try to prove we are sometimes something we are not.
Just because we may have a title, a badge are a celebrity, royalty or a tycoon, does not give anyone the right to treat others the way you would not like to be treated. Just because you have money, are a director of a company does not give you the right to be unkind, use and abuse and be cruel. Money does not bring you happiness, enriching other people brings you happiness and respect.
You do not gain respect for how much money you have in your bank, you gain respect by teaching others how you made that money and how you can empower that individual to also be as successful as you.
The “Do Unto Others” Bible Verse
Matthew 7:12 – “So in everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
Its can be borderline narcissistic to look down ones nose at another being for what ever reason we so choose.
We should not judgeor make innuendos and sit on our thrown casting stones, we should also not use or abuse people and treat people badly especially the vulnerable.
However people with money and power think they can buy what ever they want and treat people without any respect. We in society are segregated into classes and the people on the top of the food chain are usually the ones that do not care what happens to the ordinary folk, that is why the world is the way it is. Unfortunately I cannot change the world single handily.
Did you know there is a chemical our brains produce when we do something kind or witness another person being kind?, it is called ‘Oxytocin’ The chemical is responsible for feeling love and connection and the more kinder you are the more people are enriched and also do kind things in return.
People want to be respected yet not everyone does get that privilege and there are many especially in business the higher up the ladder they sit, the more mightier some people seem to think they are.
As an example I know of a certain individual without mentioning any names that has sat on his high chair claiming to be an expert in more than one field. This person was once a startup and he too yearnes the respect yet he shows none to others.
I put it down to the fact he is feeling insecure about himself so he spouts out atrocities to feel better about himself without actually realising what he has done to the other person that he may in fact not know very well.
Before casting stones think what it will do to the other person. Some people cannot handle critisism and this may actually tip them over the edge.
Do you want to be that peron that has pushed another too far?
Would you be able to sleep at night if you knew someone had harmed themselves because of you.
Just because you feel intimidated do not intimidate someone else to make yourself feel better.
Some of the greatest entrepreneurs of our time have struggled with fear and self doubt. Just because they hide behind their clean and crisp shiny suites does not make them “super ceo’s”. You cannot know for certain what is going through someones mind when you make detrimental comments about another person. You do not know what the other person has gone through when you make your own opinions about that person.
Here are some tips about gaining respect and teaching it to others.
1. Respect yourself.
I learnt the hard way and this is why I can hold my head up high, someone elses opinion is insignificant to me.
You are your own boss and you control your own destiny.
Without sounding cliche, no one will respect you unless you respect yourself. Love yourself and people will love you.
By showing respect to other people and being kind you in turn will be rewarded for your honorable and courteous behavior.
Remember only you know your self worth and no one can make assumptions without knowing your full story. Do not claim to be someone your are not.
2. To get respect, give respect.
Do not throw stones in glass houses. You do not want to be spoken about badly behind your back so do not speak ill of people when they are not around. People around you want just as much respect as you do. Think of this way karma has a way of pay you back, do not tempt fate as you may end up holding the other side of the coin. Afterall you should still be courteaus and respectful to the person who may be disrespectul to you as this will make you the bigger person. To gain their respect show interest in them and try and contribute by being helpful.
3. Finding a mentor.
By growing a network of like minded people you have the opportunity to be respected because of what you have to say, humans are very complex labyrinthine beings, with only a handful of people whose names are immediately recognizable and well respected. If you are able to learn from someone who is well known in their field of expertise you will find people will follow you like lambs and will be eager to learn from you. By having a great following of people especially on social media you will naturally gain the respect you so rightfully deserve. By having a large network of people interested in your niche you will not only learn from others but you will also be able to teach what you have learnt.
4. Mentoring Others.
By mentoring others and helping them climb the ladder of success not only will this help others it will also help you. If you can invest your time teaching others this will in turn cause a ripple effect and the ones you teach will then be able to teach others and will avoid costly mistakes, yet will always refer to the mentor that originally taught them and you will then gain notoriety and respect.
By enriching the lives of others you will be remembered and referred to and in time you would have built your own legacy.
5. Honesty is the best policy
Do not pretend to be something you are not. The best way to gain respect is to communicate face to face. If something is bothering you or you are not sure about, talk it over, do not hide behind your superior ego.
I had someone most recently without any explanation terminate an agreement. Rather than talk things over to see what they felt was not working for them they chose to cut their losses only to realise that they had infact lost more than they had bargained for.
Through their ill representation of someone who claimed to be an expert in more than one field they had in fact lost several thousands ££££ of advertising and looking at their analytics report a lot of business too and they will not hold global positioning on a local search directory because of the their mistake.
Yet had they have stayed they would have been dominated in their industry and would have held exact match searchable keyword domain names all because of misguidance by someone sitting on their high throne. As an example I have written many contracts in my time but that does not make me a solicitor, so the same could be said for the individual who also claims to be a SEO expert.
All it would have taken was communication from the other Director and his assocociates to resolve the matter.
Not only that they will now how to start from scratch and it will cost them an arm and a leg to get back what they had and more.
There is a saying you reap what you sow. They would have had more repsect from me had they talked things over.
As my daughter now says its their loss.
People value authenticity and honesty more than they value respect and by not being honest and transparent they have now bitten off more than they can chew.
6. Self Representation & Appearance
I will reflect back to a time when I was in a toxic relationship and everything I owned was destroyed and everytime I replaced things these things would get destroyed also, so I stopped replacing them until I could free myself from the toxicity in my life.
This obviously showed in my appearance as I started to play down my appearance and my personality and kept myself to myself. The fear of being humiliated for looking nice was my ultimate sacrifice until I could rebuild my life. But there were certain individuals that chose to be judgemental without knowing the full story and not only did I have to put up with toxicity in my personal life I was faced with snide comments in my work environment.
So I chose to take a stand and remove myself from the people that were weighing me down. This was like the world had lifted off my shoulders. I did not have to prove myself to no one. Either these people accepted me for whom I was or not at all.
I did learn something though looks matter, people are judgemental and I started to love myself again and have started to respect myself although deep down I always respected myself, but found that other people did not.
I started blooming again after so many years of being a closed flower bud. Whenever I went out which was very rarely pre covid -19, I chose to look smart, I wanted to show the world I had picked myself up again and that I was ready to face anyone, holding my head up tall.
You don’t need to earn a lot of money to look smart or professional, you just got to look the part.
By looking great you not only look nice, you also feel better about yourself and are more confident. Your behaviour will reflect your personality and people will take notice and will show you more respect. Looking great, walking tall with your head up high makes you look successful and you feel in your mind you can conquer the world, however looking slouched and you posture not straight gives people a different impression.
I also know my self worth, I also have published 3 books and am writing 2 more. I am well respected in my industry. If you think badly of me then it is your loss not mine.
7. Surround yourself with positive people.
Surrounding yourself with like minded positive people that understand how you think, you will benefit from your friendship with them, from their teachings, makes you a more assertive individual. If on the other hand you constantly associated with negative, depressing, artificial, or critical people, this will boil over to your own personality and you too will act and think like these people.
The most certain way to gain respect is to be associated with people that show respect to others and do not talk about others behind their backs in a negative way.
Respect grows in a self-reciprocal way. When others respect you, you feel confident and you then respect them back.
8. Stay Knowlegableand Teach Well.
When someone is eager to learn and is thankful for your teaching you will gain respect.
If you are associated with a person who is defensive, arrogant, condescending, and totally unteachable, not only are you wasting your valuable time with them, you are also weighing yourself down with a person that refuses to learn and refuses to show respect. These people who do not want to help themselves have pretty much given up on themselves, they think they can do as they please without consequences.
There are always consequences with our actions.
If the person that wants to learn everything, will listen, they will be the ones that will show you respect for the knowlege you have passed on to them.
Conclusion
Respect should be appreciated in your home, your work and private life and in all walks of life.
There are so many people in the news nowadays that do not show respect, from the Police in the USA that killed “George Floyd” because they thought they were better than him and hid behind their shield to gain authority, to “Jefferey Epstein” and the dirty old men that thought using and abusing young females, was completely fine and had little regard for these girls as they had no esteems themselves. No matter who you are and where you come from and what title you hold, you should always show respect to other people.
If you stripped your titles and you were left in the room with your arched enemy and there was only the two of you left to save the world would you kill each other or would you help one another? The same goes if you needed a blood transfusion in order to live would you die or would you take the blood from your enemy who was willing to save your life? These are all hypothetical scenarios but you get the drift.
Respect is not a commodity that can be bought, traded, sold, or exchanged, respect can only be earned or lost. Yet in the case of “Jefferey Epstien” he tried buying respect with money. Eventually everything comes out and in the case of “Jefferey’s” partner who has gone into hiding “Ghislaine Maxwell” the daughter of “Robert Maxwell” will she ever gain the respect from all the girls that were abused or the rest of the world for that matter?, only the artificial people in her life will continue to look up to her. Did I forget to mention there is bounty on her by “The Sun Newspaper” of £10,000 reward for her wherabouts.
No matter who you are, showing respect to others you will gain admiration, appreciation, and respect naturally without having to use unnecessary means or paying for it as in the case of the Police in the George Floyd & Jeffery Epstein cases. Preying on vulnerable young girls and taking advantage of them them does not make you a Prince or a President, it makes you not a worthy person.
People are not garbage, people have feelings and we are all on this planet together all trying to do the same thing and that is to survive and build a bigger brighter future for generations to come.
Consider the consequences of your actions next time you say or do something bad to another individual.
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